You Don't Know Me

You think you know me. You see my smile and hear my jovial laughter and get captivated by my mask. You watch as I sing song after song and listen as my soprano belts out and you think all is well. My life you dont even know because you weren't there when we were starving, you didnt get the pleasure of hearing us weep at night, and you definitely didnt get to see our swollen belly's of gas rise and fall in our sleep. You think you know me tho... But... You don't know me you couldnt possibly know how i had to fight my way through life how i had to be an adult at the age of childhood how i had to protect my brother by any means necessary... YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH I WISH YOU'D JUST DIE. YOU ARE KILLING US. YOU ARE KILLING US. YOU ARE KILLING ME!! YOU ARE KILLING ME. EVERYTIME YOU SMOKE THAT CRACK YOU ARE KILLING ME EVERYTIME YOU SMILE IN MY FACE LIKE EVERYTHING IS OK YOU ARE KILLING ME EVERYTIME I WATCH YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH YOUR "FRIENDS" YOU ARE KILLING ME KILLING ME AS WELL AS YOURSELF. MY ENTIRE LIFE YOU HAVE BEEN KILLING ME AND THE LITTLE SLITHER OF SELF ESTEEM THAT I HAVE . YOU ARE KILLING ME AND THE LITTLE PIECE OF SELF CONTROL THAT I HAVE. YOU ARE KILLING MY SOUL. MY SOUL IS DEAD. YOU HAVE DROWNED ME IN YOUR SELFSIHNESS! YOU HAVE ENVELOPED ME IN YOUR SUICIDE MISSION AND NOW IT HAS BECOME MY OWN! I AM DEAD TO THIS WORLD NOW I AM DEAD TO MYSELF NOW. I AM DEAD....MY BREATH HAS BECOME STAGGERED. MY HEARTBEAT IS NOW JUST A SLIGHT PIT... PAT...PIT....PAT.. IM NOW GASPING FOR AIR... YOU KILLED ME... MY SOUL LAUGHS AS IT EXITS MY BODY LAUGHS BECAUSE THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THEY KNEW ME THE MOST HAS JUST MURDERED ME... I DRIFT.