The War between Flesh and Soul

My flesh is at war with my soul. Celibacy was once my view but now I want to view him I mean to say um, I want it. Now my soul wants to be upright standing in the forefront of the battles between good and evil. Praising God's name until my voice is gone and yet still mouthing "I Love You Jesus," but my body, well my body wants him to rock me back and forth, slap my butt and pull my hair and leave my legs shaking and my lips trembling. But that's neither here nor there cuz see my soul, that thing which giveth me my essence is crying out for a space in Heaven. A place where I can stare into the eyes of the only Father that actually cared enough to stick around. My soul yearns to walk the golden streets of Heaven and to wear that crown of light. Omg my flesh is riling up again I can not contain it's lust to have that man deep inside of me. Thrusting away every stressful thought I've had, kissing me in places I didn't know I had, and touching me like he is the architect of my very being. His body on top of mine is not more than I could bare in fact if this is the way it had to be for a lifetime my flesh would be ok with that. Switching position in time with heartbeats, heartbeats racing for orgasms, body heat turning this from mere pressing of flesh to passion, so animalistic in nature the way he grinds himself into the depths of me I cant imagine life without this.
I cant imagine life in hell. I mean no Damn Ice water!? Even the slaves were allowed a cool cup of water! Soul please win I dont want to go to hell. I cant imagine spending the rest of eternity in damnation. My God I m going to repent... for allowing that nigga to eat my pussy... I mean... I'm sorry God for allowing that nice young man to give me oral sex... It just..well... it felt so good having his tongue lap at me for hours on end and the way he moved his lips in tandem with his fingers... I mean..well God you know what happened you were there... You're always here... omniscient, and omnipresent you are Lord. Please forgive me! I don't want to go to hell for what my flesh does. I know you are a forgiving God but im just afraid im not trying hard enough and one day you're gonna stop forgiving me! Please Lord I beg of thee! I know you promised never to leave me nor forsake me, but I know I get in my own way sometimes and the euphoria that I get from orgasms makes me so high I just feel like I need it...from him..smh...I mean...he does it so well I mean to say that you made him really well. Jesus! that man is um, I mean Jesus you are awesome.... Lord you know my mind, you know my heart, and you know my soul. You are the only one I have to prove myself to. Noone else matters. Thank you for your MERCY GOd =)